


Relief

by PurpleArrowzandLeather



Category: Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, Protective Kylo Ren, Protective Rey (Star Wars), brave Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 02:06:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17715992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleArrowzandLeather/pseuds/PurpleArrowzandLeather
Summary: An alternate ending to The Last Jedi where Ben Solo goes with Rey after Snoke's death. An assortment of personal issues will make his new beginning rocky, but finding Ben Solo again will be worth it.





	Relief

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything.  
> Not my first idea, but definitely one of the better ones. :)

          It has been a long time since Kylo has felt anything other than rage. The first inkling of change was when Han allowed the saber to cut through him. When Rey hurt him, his inner battle was not going well. So he hit himself, fist pounding into his wound from Chewbacca to keep the pain and the rage coming. Every time he felt it fade, he was forced to reign himself in and ignore his self-preservation to continue to hurt himself.  

          Rey didn’t understand then. Snoke had always been pulling his strings, playing with him like a marionette. He supposed that he should feel differently, should perhaps see Snoke in a different light. Still, he convinced himself that Snoke was helping him. Snoke was mentoring him.  

          But then Rey returned. She came to him. Of course, she knew what happened. She knew that he was conflicted. She  _knew_ that the reason he was tired was stress, and struggle. He wants to go with her now. She’s aware of it, but Kylo fears that he doesn’t have the strength to do so. 

          It’s only when Snoke forces her to give up what she’s been protecting so ferociously that his resolve solidifies. Snoke senses it, but it isn’t what he thinks. As afraid as he is of Snoke, there is nothing that he will let stop him from murdering him.  

          His ‘true enemy’ falls, but Kylo has no time to relish in his shocked expression. His confusion. No, the guards are too quick for anything like that. His fighting is erratic, angry. He knows that he’s unfocused, but he’s not about to give in. He can calm the storm later. Maybe. 

          Rey fights across the room from him after they get separated, and he has no room to escape his attackers to help her. She seems to be doing okay. Kylo falters, stumbling back from a hit that strikes his ribs. He lets out a shout of pain and swings his saber around wildly. His anger is only fueled when Rey cries out as well. He risks a glance at her and finds that she’s not too terribly hurt.  

          Kylo puts his saber through a guard’s chest and takes the head off another. He’s off-kilter, and they seem to know it. Their only issue is getting in close enough to use it against him. He’s pleasantly surprised to note that Rey finishes her last guard before he does. Then again, that may not be his most pressing concern, considering the glowing blade at his neck.  

          “Ben!” 

          He nearly startles at the name. He responds to it anyway, and she throws him a saber. It takes barely a moment to kill his enemy and he stares at her. It takes him a moment to register that she’d always called him Ben. Ben was good. Ben is... gone.  

          He drops to his knees, eyes taking in Snoke’s dead body more fully. He can’t feel Snoke’s presence in his mind anymore. He can’t feel that weight. It takes him by surprise. 

          “Ben?” 

          He looks to her. “ _What_?”  

          “Are you all right?” 

          He looks down at the lightsaber in his hands, his fingers trembling. “I don’t know what I am anymore.” 

          She glances at Snoke’s body before settling back on Kylo. “You’re free. Aren’t you? Free to choose?” 

          Kylo’s brow furrows. “Why choose? Why not just let it all die? Everything... everything old can die.” 

          “Letting old things die? Is that why you rescued me? Is that why you’ve changed, just to destroy yourself?” She pauses. “If you weren’t holding onto old things, then why help me?” 

          “I have  _nothing_ left to hold on _to_!” 

          “What about Leia?” 

          Kylo blinks, tears building in his eyes that he hadn’t realized were there. “She’s dead.” 

          “Is she? How did that happen?” 

          “She was... sucked into space.” 

          Rey shifts, moving a little closer. “But you don’t know she’s dead. You can try to reach out to her.” 

          “Why should I? There is no place for me in her life after all that I’ve done. There is nothing I can do to change that, and nothing you can do either. She believes her son is gone and he is. Ben Solo is dead.” 

          “Then why am I looking at him?” 

          He shakes his head. “You see what you want to see. You always have. In Luke, in your parents, in me, in yourself.” 

          “Ben, I sense the good in you. Your mother wants you to come home because she can too!” 

          “But he-” Kylo stops, looking to Snoke again. He’s dead. Ben had freed himself, but forgotten. “I don’t... I don’t think I have a home to return  _to_.” 

          Rey steps closer, crouching down in front of him. “Then... until you figure it out, you can stay with me.” She reaches out to him. “Does that sound okay?” 

          Kylo doesn’t make any effort to respond, staring at her hand. 

          “Please, Ben. Come with me.” 

          He considers, even as confused as his mind is. “What if you decide you no longer want me? What will you do then? Kill me, like Luke tried to?” 

          Rey smiles sadly. “He was afraid.” 

          “I was his  _nephew_.” 

          “Everyone makes mistakes, Ben. Even the great Luke Skywalker.” 

          Ben shudders, looking to Snoke’s throne with a hard glare. “Even Supreme Leaders.” 

          “You have always been good, Ben. There is nothing that could stop you from joining the dark side if you chose it, but the same goes for the light.” 

          He scoffs, dropping the lightsaber curled in his fingers. “Except maybe you.” 

          She takes one of his hands, tugging his glove free and turning it over. His fingers curl with hers as she grips his hand. “That’s why I came here. I don’t want to fight you because you think you have nothing. I want you to come with me so that I can show you that you will always have something. Or  _someone_. I’m not going to leave you, Ben. You can read my mind. I’ll even let you this time.” 

          His gaze softens on her. “I don’t think I need to.” He would likely never invade her mind again. Not after what Snoke had done. 

          The tears start to fall down his face and Rey moves forwards, letting him rest his head against her chest. He closes his eyes, listening to her heartbeat and soothing himself with its throbbing. He reaches out to the Force in her and she reaches back freely. It takes him awhile to realize that he doesn’t feel so much pain now, as if Snoke had been a spike through his lungs that made it hard to breathe. Rey is the gentlest breeze by comparison and it only pushes him to break down further. It hurts, but in a completely different way. It hurts to know that he came so close to losing this chance.  

          Ben doesn’t know how to handle her compassion. The spark that had drawn him to her in the first place is now more like the peaceful flame of a candle. Bright, but soft. Dangerous, but warm. Shifting, and yet a steady place to focus. 

          She quiets him as a sob drops from his mouth, her fingers gently carding through his hair.  

          He goes cold when realization strikes him, pulling back and looking over to the viewing window. “The fleet.” 

          Rey stands up, ready to go see how they’re doing when she hears footsteps. She freezes. 

          “Hide!” Ben hisses. 

          She nods, sliding behind Snoke’s throne as Ben starts to get up.  

          Hux walks into the room as he gains his feet. “What happened here?” 

          Ben glances around, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation. “The... the girl killed Snoke. Where is she?” 

          “The Supreme Leader’s escape pod is missing, but we haven’t determined where it might have gone. She could have taken it, but it’s more likely it was taken out by the ship being destroyed.” 

          “We have to... we have to fall back.” 

          “The Supreme Leader is dead. Who are you to give me orders?” 

          Ben offers him a blank look. This could very well be a useful advantage. He Force-chokes the man. He’s never liked Hux anyway. “The Supreme Leader is dead.” 

          Hux accepts his leadership, and Ben makes him change the status in First Order systems. He broadcasts a message over what’s left of the ship about the new Supreme Leader being Kylo Ren. When he turns around, Ben smiles.  

          “Rey, you can come out now.” 

          Hux stares, slack-jawed as Rey comes around the throne. “Wha- you... she’s-” 

          “There’s been a change of plans.” Ben answers, cutting off his annoying stuttering before he can point out the obvious. “You, the First Order, and Snoke are things of my past.” He glances at Rey. “The parts of my past that I don’t need.” 

          Hux lets out a small huff of a laugh. “You must be joking.” 

          “I don’t-”  

          He doesn’t get a chance to say much else before a blaster fires. Rey puts her hand out and the shot stops before it can reach Ben. Hux sneers at Rey, moving his hand to shoot at her as well. Ben stops the shot headed towards her. 

          Hux grins. “Now you’re both stuck.” 

          “Rey, move.” Ben hisses. 

          Hux puts his gun against Ben’s temple. “I never did like you. Always parading around with such arrogance, as if being Snoke’s  _pet_  made you better than us.” 

          “Rey.” Ben says again, eyes flicking to their discarded sabers. It won’t be fast enough to levitate one if Hux decides to take a shot, and her sending one to him wouldn’t go unnoticed. “Move.” 

          She takes enough of a step that he can let go. Hux puts his arm around Ben’s neck, placing the gun firmly against his head. “I wouldn’t move if I were you, scavenger.” 

          Rey pauses before her mouth twitches in some semblance of a smile. Ben knows that face. She’s got an idea. “You will remove your weapon from his head.” 

          Ben could almost laugh if the situation wasn’t so serious. The arm around his throat and the gun start to shake. He’s resisting her. Ben has never been so good with the power of suggestion, but Rey seems to have a knack for it. He’s better at knocking people out. 

          “Back away from him.” 

          Hux struggles against her, pulling against Ben’s neck to stand his ground.  

          “I said back away.” she says calmly. 

          Hux does as he’s told, breathing shakily. 

          “Now drop your blaster.” 

          Ben turns, moving back towards Rey and picking up his lightsaber. “Would you like to do the honors, or shall I?”  

          “He’s all yours.”  

          He approaches Hux, speaking to him in a quiet voice. “She might have shown you mercy, but I’m not so kind. There is no feeling like enmity, and you have shown me quite enough.” 

          The lightsaber goes through his heart and Ben lets his body fall back. It’s likely to be his only killing done completely out of spite. Luke wouldn’t approve, but he doesn’t have to answer to him. 

          Rey picks up her lightsaber as well and comes to stand next to him. “Are you ready to go?” 

          Ben nods. “I do believe so.” 

          “Got a way out by chance?” 

          “My ship is docked near where Snoke’s was. It might still be operational.” 

          Rey nods, following him as he turns around to head towards it. “If we’re lucky, Chewie will be close to the rebel base and we can hitch a ride on the Falcon.” 

          Ben slows. “I don’t know that I’ll be able to set foot in it. Not without seeing my mother first.” 

          “We can always dock your fighter under it. You don’t have to come in.” 

          He nods. “We’ll swing around to the weapons bay first, destroy anything that might cause trouble for the Rebels.” 

          “Agreed.” 

          She straps into her seat and he takes the controls, glancing back at her. There’s something inside him that he’s feeling but can’t place. The closest he comes is gratitude, but that’s not it. It’s much deeper than that. 

          “Let’s fly, Mr. Solo.” 

          Ben orders a cease-fire on the Rebels, but he’d be willing to bet that cooperation on that front is only temporary. They’ll figure out that something is wrong eventually, and when they do there’ll be a bit of mutiny. No one ever said changing sides was easy. 

          Ben fires on the walkers in the hangar and anything else that looks mildly threatening. He feels a twinge of satisfaction when he hits Phasma “by accident”. Rey doesn’t say anything about it, but she does point out Finn on the ground. Ben hovers in place for a moment so she can wave at him.  

          Finn points at Ben in the seat next to her and his expression asks her why he’s there. She grins a little giddily and asks Ben to land. He’s not sure how the ex-stormtrooper will feel about his presence. Or the small lady with him who looks like she works maintenance. 

          He supposes he’s about to find out. 

          They pile into his ship, which really isn’t meant for more than one or two people. He tries not to make any eye contact at first, but it doesn’t work.  

          “Ben, right?” Finn asks. 

          He nods, lifting off the ground and ignoring the chirping of the droid rolling around between them. He continues firing on the weapons bay until the whole thing threatens to fall apart around him. A weakness of his, he supposes. To push his luck until the last second. 

          Finn laughs a little bit as debris flies out in front of them, the ship exploding. “Now I see the relation.” 

          He tries not to read too much into it, minding his own business as Rey radios in to Chewie. “Hey, we’re out here cruising around the wrecked ships. Mind swinging around to pick us up?” 

          Ben isn’t sure how he feels when he hears his father’s life-long friend answering in Wookie-speak. He tries not to let it bother him that his father was the one who taught him how to understand him. His mother helped. 

          Rey senses his discomfort through their Force-bond and puts her hand on his forearm to reassure him. “Don’t worry. She’ll be happy to see you.” 

          He hopes so. Ben doesn’t know how he’ll handle it if she rejects him.  

          The ride is fairly short once they hitch a ride on the Falcon. As predicted, Ben couldn’t bring himself to go inside. Rey stays with him even as Finn and Rose help BB-8 get up into the Falcon.  

          Ben is honestly a little shocked by the enormous blast door of the Rebel base when they arrive. He had expected their retreat to be leading to a fortified location, but it really is a gargantuan door.  

          Ben and Rey detach from the bottom so that Chewie can safely land inside the base and set down just off to the side. He takes a calming breath as he stands at the back of the ship, readying himself for either outcome of the situation.  

          Rey walks out ahead of him, looking back in an attempt to reassure him. It only sort of works. Leia comes towards her and wraps her arms around Rey’s shoulders. Ben presses closer to the frame of his ship, hoping to remain unseen.  

          “Ben?” 

          He lifts his gaze to meet his mother’s eyes, shame burning through him. She gestures him forward and he walks as though pulled by an unseen pressure. He stares down into her eyes, her hand moving to cup the side of his face. He pulls back, shaking his head. 

          “I don’t deserve it.” 

          “Ben Solo, you are my son. Seeing you now… your father... Han-“ 

          Ben closes his eyes at the name, a breath trembling out of him. “I killed him.” 

          “To see you standing here, he would have said it was worth it. Everything he did, he did because he loved you.” 

          “And I-…” he breaks off, retreating a few more steps. 

          Rey’s concern is almost tangible across their bond. “Ben?” 

          “I  _loved_  him so much that I murdered him. I don’t deserve it.” 

          Leia’s expression is sad. “That fact that you believe you don’t deserve it is exactly why you need it, and I will always,  _always_  be willing to give it. You are my son, Ben, and I love you.” 

          Ben stops. Leia closes the distance between them, pulling him into her arms. He bends to allow her to put her arms up around his shoulders and he hesitates before burying his face in her shoulder.  

          “I’m sorry, mother.” he whispers. “I… I am so sorry.” 

          He turns his face just enough to see Rey smiling broadly from where she’s standing near Finn. He looks down at the floor, contemplating his new situation. He hasn’t been Ben in a long time, and it’s not likely he’ll ever be that person again. It appears as though he doesn’t need to be, and he isn’t sure what to make of it. 

          When he finally pulls away, Leia has tears in her eyes. “I missed you, my Ben.” 

          He glances around, but thankfully, the room cleared as soon as they realized Leia was having a moment. “I don’t know how you can look at me. How you can see your son and not the man who murdered his father.”  

          She tips his chin up, but he can barely look at her. “The man who murdered Han Solo doesn’t exist anymore.” 

          “But I still-“ 

          Leia places her hands on either side of his face and smiles at him. “You just worry about being my son. If I start to see that man again, I promise to let you know.” 

          Ben nods, taking his mother’s hands in his, tears falling down his face as he nods. “Okay.” 

          Rey bounces a little bit, smiling at him.  

          It takes a couple minutes, but she finally recovers enough to pat his shoulders. “Luke was going to speak with you, when you came here. He didn’t know what he was… going to say, or what you would be like. I would assume he’d still like to-“ 

          Ben nods. “I’ll do it.” 

          Rey’s eyes find his and she gives him a questioning look. “Are you sure you want to do that?” 

          He makes a small sound. “It’s just like you said. Everyone makes mistakes. I suppose… I suppose I will just have to see how willing each of us is to face them.” 

          He wonders just how long the conversation will last. If either of them gets frustrated, it could be fairly short.  

          He walks under the blast door and into the sunlight, his footsteps as red as blood. He supposes it could be symbolic, in a way. After all, he does have quite the bloody trail left in his wake.  

          “Ben?” 

          He turns, ignoring the prick of unease that follows when he sees Luke standing not far away. “Skywalker.” 

          “I hope this isn’t a bad time.” 

          “As good a time as any. After all. I’m sure any time lost can be used now to explain why it was you decided to kill me in my sleep.” 

          Luke glances down at the ground, chuckling a little. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’d jump right in headfirst.” 

          “It is a little startling to be awoken by your master while he’s holding a lightsaber over your head. Or so I’m told.” 

          That draws a short laugh out of him as well. If he thinks laughing is relieving any tension Ben is feeling, he’s sorely wrong.  

          “Personal experience tends to feed the imagination as well.” Ben scoffs, shrugging one shoulder and turning away from Luke. 

          “I’m sorry, Ben. I failed you, so many times. I… I should have given you a chance, I was just…” 

          Ben stares out into the sunlight. “Say it.” 

          “Afraid. I was afraid. I didn’t come to your quarters to kill you, but to see if the darkness rising in you could be stopped.” 

          “You practically made my decision for me!” 

          “I see that now, and Rey said the same thing.” 

          Ben can’t help but smile at that, but expression fades soon enough.  

          “I am sorry, Ben. You don’t have to believe me now, or ever for that matter, but I want you to know it. If you ever need something, I will always be there for you. I swear it.” 

          Ben glances down at the ground, watching as Luke shifts nervously. The snow covering the salt stays pristine under his feet and Ben stares at him. “You aren’t really here.” 

          “I don’t have any timely sort of transport off the island.” 

          “No, but it must be hurting you. The strain…” 

          “It’s my time, kid.” 

          “How are you supposed to be there for me if you are dying just from having this conversation?” 

          “My master is always with me, as are Obi-Wan and my father. I do not need a physical body to be with you, nor to guide you through the Force.” 

          Ben scowls at him. 

          “Now  _that_  is a familiar expression. One I saw Han wear on numerous occasions.” 

          The comment does nothing to make him feel better. 

          “Ben.” 

          Ben glances over at Luke and Luke puts a hand on shoulder. Ben is fairly shocked to find that his hand feels just as solid and real as it might if he were really standing next to him. He only recalls a stronger connection as being the bond established between him and Rey.  

          Ben looks at him. “So, now what will you do?” 

          “Besides die? I’ll see you around, kid.” 

          Luke fades out of sight and Ben waits for his presence in the Force to disappear. When it does, he turns around and walks back inside. Perhaps one day, he’ll feel something more over his first master’s death, but that day isn’t today.  

          No. That day likely won’t come for a long time. For now, he’ll focus on the light. How that ends remains to be seen. 

          Rey jogs over to meet him. “So? How did it go? Are you all right?” 

          “He’s dead.” 

          Her lips draw into a thin line. “I know.” 

          “He said he would be there for me. If I needed it.” 

          Rey’s brow furrows. “That doesn’t make any sense.” 

          Ben shrugs, walking towards the command center. “According to Luke, he doesn’t need a corporeal body. What that means for the rest of us, I have no idea.” 

          “Should be interesting to find out then.” she answers, walking closely enough to him that their shoulders brush. 

          He looks down at her, his expression contemplative. “Yes, I suppose it shall be.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment and let me know what you thought!


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